This is going to be a lengthy post, currently it is 2:23 AM. I am tired, sleep deprived, and want to write before I turn in for the night. Tonight, we are going to talk about leaving the past behind, unlearning trauma, and focusing on growth. I'm no stranger to trauma. I have dealt with it a majority of my life. I stayed stuck for a very long time. I didn't want to get help. That made me sad, it made others around me sad. It's okay to be stuck, take small steps. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there as long as you move forward.

It's okay not to be okay, you're not weak for that. Reaching out for help is the strongest thing you can do. It takes time but things can be and will be better. I remember growing up it was hard to be heard, so I remained quiet. I still do this is my adult life. Socially, I only speak when spoken to when I go on outings. That kind of sucks, I wish I knew what to talk about. Have you ever been so alienated that you don't know how to start a basic conversation? I have, I understand. Today, it took me an hour just to roll out of bed and start my day. When I logged onto GradePoint you know what I accomplished? Nothing. I fixed one typo on my landing page, that's it. I feel like I procrastinated the day away due to my mental health and that's okay. It's alright to have bad days but when you fall asleep your eyes will open the next morning and the sun will be there. It will be a brand new day. You can make brand new choices. There are times that the days blend together. You don't know when the last time you ate was. The last time you had a sip of water. Or the last time you laughed while watching your favorite TV show, again that's okay.

We're not meant to be happy all the time. I, matter of fact, I think I would be mad if someone was happy all the time, haha. We just have to keep on pushing forward. We owe ourselves that. Life is a bitch, we all understand loss. Roll out of bed 10, 20 , 30 minutes. How ever long it takes you, just know it's alright to do that. I'm almost dozing off writing this.

Reach out to a friend, go for a walk, try a new food, study a new hobby. There is always something that you can distract yourself with. I find it odd but they say it helps. I have a friend who loves to sit and just feel their emotions, they soak it up, when they are finished... they put it back in the box and stick it up on hteir mental shelf. Odd, right? My favorite thing to do when I need to occupy my mind when I am in a dark place is to play retro games. I am really into retro games. Evenn if it is just for fifteen minutes it's always good to just get your mind off it.

I lost a lot of people in my life due to the same things I struggle with. If I could go back and help them more, make them feel seen maybe I wouldn't be as sad. I know I am just a stranger on the internet but if you ever need to talk you have my social media. I'll be there to listen.

- Your Sad Founder